My Problem.....

 So, I discovered I have a problem. Well, not really a problem; more like a character defect. Or maybe it's a fear. You get my point. My problem is that I hate to fail. Or be a failure. I hold myself at such a high standard that when I don't do well on or at something I feel as though I've failed. I've always been the one who does my best and tries to stay on top of things. But everyone has their strong and weak points. Some people say "I wish my son was as disciplined as you." or "I wish I had that mind frame." When I started at a new school last year, it was hard for me to accept being weak in one area of school. What people don't get about my problem is that when I get a bad grade or do bad at something, I beat myself up about it. I get down about it and can sometimes get stressed out about it.  This problem can result into carrying that bad grade or thinking I failed a test on my back for the rest of the day or even week. All this worrying can leave one stressed. Is this what they call an overachiever? If it is I no longer want to be one. I want to be content with doing my best and not thinking I've failed myself and my teachers. Do I have this problem because everyone always says "I know she can do it." or "She's so smart and mature for her age."? All these saying can put a very high expectation on just one person. These are very nice compliments but can make me think I have to live up to them. And if I don't then I'm a failure. Those compliments also made me doubt myself and my academic abilities. I thought "Am I really as smart as they say." or "Can I really handle this." I didn't want to disappoint my proud parents. They were so sure of me but was I? I wanted to be just as confident in myself as they were in me. Do you see how this can become a problem?? I'm still working on excepting my weaknesses and being happy with just doing my best. I'm working on accepting the fact that I can't be great at everything. I need to know that I did my best and that's all I can do. I'm a work in progress. Am I the only one who has this problem???? Or am I just crazy??



~Taylor Nicole~