Women: Deep Thoughts At 4am..........I Don't Sleep!

A Woman Should Have by Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer,

or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,

and a recipe for a meal,

that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,

break up with a lover,

and confront a friend without;

ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table..

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year... 

I love this poem mainly because women don't really follow this list of TRUTH anymore. More and more everyday I see young girls and grown women losing or in some cases giving away their self-esteem and respect. When did women start ignoring or letting go of the things in this poem? Women are so much more than what we wear, what our hair looks like, what our body looks like, how much money we have, who our significant other is, or how much money he makes! I cringe at the sight of a young girls and women who think that life is all about these things.
I'm tired of seeing girls my age feel like they have to have sex with a guy for him to "love" them or for him to stay in a "relationship" with them. To be honest, at our age we don't even know the true meaning of love and what it takes to be in a REAL committed relationship. If you feel like you have to "give up" of change certain things in order to keep your relationship, 9 times out of 10 your relationship is INDEED unstable and will most likely end; regardless of what you do or change.  
Why is it that girls my age even feel like NEED to have a boyfriend? Is it because society says your suppose to have a boyfriend? Or because your friends have one? Are you lacking love in another area therefore you are seeking it from somewhere else? Whatever the case may be, I'm sick of seeing girls devote everything to a guy! Be friends for awhile. Focus on YOUR life.
I'm 16, happily single, Christian, maintains a 3.8 GPA while taking college classes, beautiful, and proud to say I'm STILL a virgin and plans on staying that way until I get married (with the help of GOD lol). Love? I'll let it find me. I'm not perfect and never will be BUT I have BIG goals and I intend on completing every single one. I don't have the HIGHEST self-esteem but I refuse to let anyone come in the way of my goals. In my book, my future comes first. I'm not saying stay single but don't lose sight or alter yourself for someone that isn't on the same path as you or doesn't have your best interest at heart. Like Maya said " every woman should know...how to fall in love without losing herself." Be in a relationship but have YOUR own thing going on. 
A prime example of that kind of woman is Michelle Obama. Although her husband is the president of the USA, she does her own thing. She doesn't just sit back and look pretty by his  side. She travels without him, launching her own campaigns, being an active mother, wife, and first lady all while looking FABULOUS! She has many titles but she's not living in the shadow of her husband's title; she's her OWN woman. 
Women are so powerful but many don't even know it. This poem represents the power, determination, and strength women have and how capable we are on our own.We're beautiful, powerful, sexy, intelligent, fearless and can be unstoppable. But it's sad to say that in today's society a lot of women and girls lack class, self esteem, and morals.  I want more women and girls to believe in what this poem says. Because of the girls I see in my generation, I fear for the future women and their offspring. As I get older, there are fewer and fewer positive female role models. Am I the only that see's this drastic change in women over the years?


PS. I have a few women who have impacted my life tremendously. Each of them are in some way apart of who I am today. I thank God for having such beautiful women to look up to. S/O to them!.....

I don't know why the words in this post came out like this...It's frustrating me so I'm just going to leave it alone lol...also doesn't Michelle Obama look fierce in that picture....LOVE her!

~Taylor Nicole~

Random Quotes/Poems I Love....

Girls are like apples…the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree… — Pete Wentz

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Still I Rise - Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds 
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

I stole these from my friend's tumblr....I LOVED these sooooo much : )

~Taylor Nicole~

Race To Nowhere....

As a child and even now as a teenager nobody told me that success is not defined by how good your grades are, what ivy league college you attend, and how many extra curricular activities you take. It’s about your determination to never quit, having goals, believing in yourself, and going after what ultimately makes you happy. The world and the educational system has to change the concept of what success really is. Race to Nowhere is a documentary I watched on Friday, April 29th at Oakland Early College that  focuses on the pressures of school that lie on the backs of most teenagers today.

As I was watching the documentary, I saw myself in some of the teens that were speaking. I honestly don’t believe that the students needed to watch the video as much as the teachers and parents. They are the ones who don’t really know how serious the pressure of school can affect a teenager. “ I wish when I looked behind me that the place was filled with parents” said Emily Seward, a fellow OEC student. Parents don’t understand the stress on teenagers today. Some parents think that teenagers complain a lot and have nothing to worry about. That is not true. The stress to get grades, please parents, and attend a good college is a lot on just one person. Because kids are still young, some teenagers don’t know how to cope with stress. For example, the 13-year-old girl, Devon, committed suicide  after receiving her first “F.” She did not even get a chance to go to high school. When a teenager in the documentary said that they didn’t sleep and had headaches, I thought about myself and how those naps and headaches after school were due to stress and I did not even know it.

After we watched Race To Nowhere, all the students went to what we called break out sessions. In the break out session, a group of students spoke on their feelings on the documentary. Each and every student that I talked to could relate in some way to the documentary. The pressure of getting good grades so we can get into our favorite or great college and the heavy expectations of reaching success and becoming known to the world can be very stressful on a teenager. In this realistic documentary, they show millionaires and billionaires who are successful with little to no college degree. Society has the wrong views on what is required to become successful. Starting from first grade all the way through high school one is constantly asked “what do you want to be” and “what college do want to go to?” What I interpret from these questions are you are suppose to graduate with good grades and attend a four year college. These questions create stress and very high expectations in a teenager’s mind. The documentary talked about how those small comments and questions about school can easily add on even more pressure. All the stress that teenagers face is really unnecessary. If there are many successful people in the world today, some with no college education why is society stressing teenagers to have this big educational plan?

This eye-opening documentary shows the different issues in the education system. Race to Nowhere is something that everyone must see to understand that school is serious but it doesn’t have to be so stressful. School shouldn’t be something students dread when they wake up in the morning. Society needs to change their perspective on success. Changes definitely need to be made to make the education system better for everyone. I recommend Race To Nowhere to everyone; it is something that is necessary for everyone to watch.


If given the oppertunity, please watch this documentary; it is a MUST SEE!!!!
Website Link: http://www.racetonowhere.com/

~Taylor Nicole~

Butterfly Stage.....

  Well, as you can see from my last post, I am a lot more open, bold, secure, and just flat out outspoken. I don't like to "sugar coat" things. That's why I named this blog Freeing Thoughts because that's exactly what I plan on doing. I never could write in a journal or diary but once I started blogging, it was like an outlet for me.
   Every since I was little, I never really spoke my mind. I came off as timid or shy. As I have gotten older and gone through different things, I just start not caring and saying what was on my mind. Yet, I am still VERY observant and quiet at times. Right now in my life, I'm in a changing process or "Cocoon stage" as my mom calls it. I'm in the "Cocoon stage" meaning I'm in a transformation stage. I'm facing the mirror and working on things that I see in myself that need to change. I may be young but I know when things are not right or ugly within myself. I see change as a sign of growth and maturity. A lot of people are scared of change. Change is something that is necessary for one to move forward. It is NOT easy but it is a necessary process that everyone must eventually face. I try to embrace it. I don't want to change because of others opinions but for ME and also because I know that God will judge me for the way I live my life. And I know he's not going to hold back; meaning he's going to judge me on everything that I do, say, think, and ultimately what's in my heart. I know NO ONE is perfect but if I see something wrong within myself I will try my very best to work on that.
    Forgiveness and my attitude is what I'm working on right now. These two thing are the hardest for me. It's hard for me to forgive someone who has REALLY hurt me. My attitude ties in with forgiveness. If I haven't forgiven you then it's hard for my attitude toward you to be good. It's hard for me to pretend to like someone. If I don't like you, it will DEFINITELY show (unless you're blind). But I think I'm getting better. I hope to reach the "Butterfly stage" soon.


Still transforming. I am a work in progress : )

~Taylor Nicole~

My Life Experiences......

  

      Break is over and school started this week. Its been a crazy week and I had a rough first day back on Monday. I've been having a lot of different emotions going on for some reason. I don't know if it's just the stress of school or what. But today was great and I'm just living day by day. The weather is amazing and my grades are good and I'm proud of myself (if I may say so myself).

    But today while on twitter, I started reflecting on my life. I started thinking about all the crazy roller-coaster emotions that I've had these past 4years. Those years were kind of difficult for me and my family. I learned a lot about myself and some of my "family". And I'm not trying to gain pity, I'm just simply reflecting on my life. A lot of things have been done and said about me and behind my back. A lot of hurtful things. As a result of that, I have distanced myself from a lot of people. The main people who are there to support you and build you up kind of did the opposite. Who am I talking about? FAMILY!. I been lied to, talked about, and treated like I'm worthless. The sad part is these are the people who have been there ALL my life. Yet, I believe, ultimately want to see me fail. I'm NOT saying all of my family is like this. But there are a few. I'm NOT going to go into who did what or who said what. I'm not writing this to bash them. I'm just opening my heart and saying what's on my mind. And if your one of my family members reading this I'm not telling you who I'm talking about...even though I'm pretty sure you have an idea. What the verbally abusive family members don't realize is. They haven't really hurt me that much. They've simply gave me experiences that have taught me things and matured me even more. I've gotten soooo much stronger as a person. I understand a lot of things that I never knew. Of course, I've cried, got pissed off, and maybe came off a little bitter because of certain situations. But I've learned how and STILL learning to forgive and let go of some past feelings and people. I've learned how to love someone from a distance. I've become even more private. I've learned not to trust and confide in everybody. I've learned that everyone doesn't want you to succeed in life.

    All these things that I have learned have shaped me into who I am NOW. I've been called antisocial plenty of times before. I don't think I'm antisocial. I'm a loner. If I was antisocial, I wouldn't have been able to go to a new school and meet new people and become scary close to some of them. I like to be alone sometimes. I need space. Some people don't understand that because they constantly have to be around someone. I prefer to be alone until I feel like being bothered. My past experiences have made me isolate myself from some of my family. I've also learned how to see through BS. Its an AWESOME gift. So, sometimes I don't want to deal with the BS and the fakeness. I would rather be by myself. Sometimes I can come off as a mean person because of that. I'm extremely focused on my future....my goals. And being that I know some people want to see me fail, that motivates me to strive for more and go harder. I'm looking nowhere but up. I've learned to be ok and accept the people who act crazy. That's who they are. I am who I am. And it is what it is. I am Taylor Nicole and I know who I am. I know what type of person I am. I don't care what others do, act, say, or their attitudes towards me. I no longer care at all. Others opinions don't phase me. Those who love, appreciate, support and just go hard for me matter the most. I'm going to do my best to make them proud. I'm going to continue to evolve into a better me. And complete all my goals. At the end of the day the only opinion that matters is God's. PERIOD!

I love ALL of my family...even those who have hurt me in the past.....i mean because as you can see they really didn't effect me anyway. *shrugs*

The ambitious girl,

~Taylor Nicole~

Sickness!.....Mind Over Matter

Soooooo in my last post I was super excited about break. Now that I'm on break, get this...I'M SICK!!!!!! This is sooooo unfair.! My weekend consisted of watching re-runs of Girlfriends, The Game, and movies. This is just ridiculous. But I'm trying this mind over matter thing. Its kind of working but I really want to get better so this break won't be a complete waste. I'm loosing my appetite, downing drugs left and right, and sleeping my life away. This is not the way I planned my break.



~Taylor Nicole~

Random: My New Favorite Website!.....School Has Taken Over!!!!......The Best Holiday!!!

  
      So this week, I was talking to one of my favorite teachers Ms. Chan. As we were having our usual lunchtime chats, she mentioned this website/blog that has ALL different kinds of recipes.! And I went immediately to the site to check it out. The website is INCREDIBLE!!!!! Smittenkitchen.com is the website. It has different categories to chose from. You can chose from, seasonal favorites, sweets, fruit, vegetables, and MANY other categories. The site is quite overwhelming. There are so many things to see, try, and read. This site is heaven for all Culinary Arts people. The blogger gives you step by step instructions for all the recipes and even shares their experience. There are great pictures for each recipe as well. I am truly in love with this website. Even if you are not into cooking, just looking at the pictures will make you want to crawl through your computer screen. The pictures LITERALLY made my stomach growl. So, yeah, check it out....you won't be disappointed!
     On another note, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging like I use to. School has LITERALLY taken over my life. *Sighs* The upside to that is that I'm getting A's and B's. But my days and weekends are mostly filled with homework. I don't know what it is but I'm more determined then I've EVER been. It's like I can feel that God has something amazing planned for my life. I'm so in love with my future! And I honestly believe it will be great regardless of any obstacles that has and will come my way.
     With that being said, I'm soooooooooooooo looking forward to Summer; being that the BEST holiday of the year is in the Summer...........MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! *screams*........oh I'm such a loser : ) I really can't wait for that! I'm already planing things so I'm really excited (if you haven't noticed).
     Even though I'm CRAZY busy with everything, I'm still finding joy in my life. That joy I speak of comes from the laughter and wisdom I get everyday from different people. Ultimately, I'm doing pretty good. I really can't complain about anything. Everyday I find more and more things to be grateful for. I'm truly blessed!


~Taylor Nicole~